Q: Good morning. I'm sorry I didn't catch your name...
A: You checked Wikipedia?
Q: Yes.
A: If it's not there I'm not sure I exist do I?
Q: Good point.
(Sound of glasses clinking together)
Q: So let's get started. I understand that the fountain was constructed at some point in the mid 1800s. Is that correct?
A: Yes, 1852 I believe. And then again in 1872.
Q: What was the reason for that?
A: God knows.
Q: Wait, I think you're Frederick Law Olmstead.
A: Really? Jesus Christ, I did everything. How boring.
Q: So this would have come sometime between designing Central Park and Prospect Park then?
A: Oh, I guess so. Ah... let me get into character as Olmstead before committing to exact dates though. Ok, shoot.
Q: Wait, are you hungry? I'm hungry.
A: I'm not that hungry but I could eat.
Q: Do you like veggie sausages?
A: Ah, sure.
Q: Ok, gimme 10 minutes. You can keep talking.
(Sound of footsteps followed by sizzling of frying sausages)
A: Do you want to know my thoughts on the recent move?
(Interviewer's voice is distant but audible above the clatter and scrape of pans)
Q: Yeah, go on. Tragedy or what?
(Inaudible shrug)
A: I could care less to be honest with you. The thing changed once already. And the park was never there when I designed the thing.
Q: no?
A: I'm sorry?
Q: I said 'No'? You were saying...
A Yeah, the street ran north underneath the arch, the whole thing was different then.
Q: Really? That's interesting.
(Sound of footsteps becoming louder)
Q: Do you want ketchup?
A: Thanks. Oh, it's like a hotdog.
Q: Yeah but I don't have buns so I improvised and folded a slice of bread in half.
A: Ah gotcha, it works though.
Q: It's nice with mustard as well.
(Sound of spoon scraping bottom of near empty mustard jar)
Q: Is that enough?
A: Yes thanks. Delicious.
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